Fall to pieces
by daisydrinkstequila
Summary: Santana is in a dark place, she's feeling ugly, unwanted and alone. She's spiralling downward into alcohol, drug abuse and self harm. Will anybody be able to save her from herself or will she fall to pieces.
1. Chapter 1

She had always felt like an outsider.

Ever since she can remember.

From being 5 years old and wondering why nobody would speak to her.

To being in high school and everyone wanting to be seen with her.

She was a cheerio.

One of the best singers in glee.

People thought she was beautiful.

They thought she was confident.

Nobody knew about the vodka in her master cleanse cup.

Nobody knew about the scars on he wrist, hidden by her Nixon watch.

Nobody noticed the only times she made eye contact was when she was trying to intimidate people.

Nobody noticed her slipping away.

They all saw her how they wanted to.

The bitch.

The cheerleader.

The singer.

The lesbian.

They never saw her for what she was.

Scared.

Defensive.

Alone.

Desperate.

No one saw it coming.

She had tried to make them see.

They didn't question her when she stopped eating.

Quinn didn't notice the pleading in her eyes as she took the blondes slap.

Brittany didn't notice she had stopped talking, too interested in Artie.

Nobody noticed she skipped school that day.

She was sat in the bathroom.

She'd drank too much.

Cut too deep.

Her blood was thin from the alcohol.

Deep crimson life poured from her body.

At first she panicked as she felt herself weaken.

But then she smiled.

It was going to be over soon.

No more Brittany choosing boys over her.

No more Quinn slapping her when all she wanted was her best friend back.

No more sly comments about her sexuality.

No more expectations to be the perfect cheerleader.

The perfect student.

The perfect daughter.

The perfect weight.

No more false promises of friendships.

No more heartbreak.

No more pain.

Her eyes closed and a smile overtook her lips.

It will all be over soon.

**Agh! More angst! Carry this on or leave it as a one shot?**

**Daisy x**


	2. Chapter 2

She couldn't tell you when it started. Her mind was too fuzzy from drink and prescription pills to remember exactly. But she remembers it was summer, just before school started up.

She had hardly seen Brittany. Her best friend. The love of her life.

The dancer too busy with the boy she chose over her.

That's when the alcohol abuse started.

Late at night when she couldn't sleep because her thoughts were too loud. She would sneak into her fathers liquor cabinet and take a swig from every bottle.

The alcohol burnt at first. Made her gag. But the more she drank, the easier it became.

The burning stopped. So did her thoughts.

She forgot how much she hated herself. How alone she was. How her parents barely noticed she existed and how her one true love, didn't love her back.

On bad nights, she would rummage through the bathroom cabinet and seek out sleeping tablets, swallowing a double dose with whatever liquor she stumbled up the stairs with.

One night she got scared. She felt extra woozy and her vision was blurred. She called Quinn.

She doesn't really know why. But her mind instantly told her Quinn would help.

She didn't even answer.

She would have put it down to the fact it was almost 4am, but Quinn always used to answer. No matter what the time.

She supposed after their fight in the hallway she deserved it.

She supposed she deserved all the pain she felt

All the loneliness.

All the hatred.

One night she was straightening her hair. Puck had some crappy end of summer party and she was invited.

Of course she was invited.

She was Santana Lopez.

Cheerleader.

Bitch

Hot.

She hadn't had a drink that day, her father was home. Her hands shook as she raised the irons to her hair. They slipped. The hot ceramic burning her skin.

She thinks that was when it started.

She didn't pull away from the pain. Only watched her reflection in the mirror as she told herself she deserved it.

That night she didn't show at Puck's party.

She lay curled in her bed. Knees up to her chest. Hot tears silently streaming down her face. Wishing somebody. Anybody. Would look into her eyes just for one second and see how truly lost she was.

That wish never came true.

And now here she was.

Bleeding out on the bathroom floor, limply leant against the bathtub.

Her legs spread out lazily and a soft smile on her face.

Because it would all be over soon.

No more pain.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not ok. I haven't been for a long time. Since before I can remember.

I look around and I see these beautiful, smiling people. Their perfect bodies, flat stomachs, smooth, flawless skin.

Then there's me.

I bind my stomach with bandages to make it flatter.

I spend hours in the morning applying makeup to look 'natural'.

I smile just like them, a perfect imitation.

But I'm not ok.

I don't know what it is, but I know something is wrong with me. I'm broken. I'm damaged goods even before I graduate high school.

Puck chose Quinn over me. It stung a little, but I was never into him. What hurt was me not being good enough.

Britt chose Artie. That tore at my soul and shredded my heart.

I sang a song in glee for her.

I told her i loved her.

I was willing...I did beg her.

But I wasn't good enough.

Maybe I'm too fat. I'll skip eating today. And tomorrow. Wednesday I'll have some brown rice...I can do this. If I lose weight maybe she'll think I'm pretty enough for her. I hope she does.

I know she won't though.

I asked for breast implants over the summer. Papi said yes.

I got them for her. For Brittany. My Britt -Britt.

She didn't even notice.

Quinn did. She's always been observant. She told coach.

I'm on the bottom of the pyramid now.

I catch Q looking at me sometimes. As my arms shake with the strain of holding girls 20lbs heavier than me in the air. Every once in a while I'm sure I see worry or regret in her eyes, but it soon disappears.

I think I imagine it. She doesn't care.

When we fought in the hallway, I let her hit me. When I pinned her down, I didn't hurt her. I just looked into her eyes and pleaded for her to see it.

To see what's wrong with me.

To see my pain.

To take it away like she used to.

Whenever I was upset she could tell. She'd show up at my house unannounced with food we weren't meant to eat, bad films and terrible jokes. But the best thing she'd ever bring was her hugs.

I miss her hugs. She would hold me so gently, but so fiercely at the same time.

Q would have made an excellent mother.

She once was an awesome best friend.

But she hates me now. And I don't blame her.

How can I be angry at anyone for hating me , when I'm the president of the 'I hate Santana club'?.

I burnt my wrist last week on my ghd's. It was an accident. But it felt good.

It felt good to watch myself in the mirror whilst something punished me for being so pathetic.

For being so fat.

So ugly.

So worthless.

I have a knife in my bag. An old Swiss knife that belonged to my abuelo.

I'm going to use it tonight.

The thought of hurting myself, punishing myself, is the only thing getting me through the day.

Right now I wanna cry, I wanna scream...I want to be held and told I'm not broken.

I want to be loved.

I wish I was loved.

But wishes are for fairytales and children.

Not me.

So, as soon as final bell rings I'm going home.

To my empty house.

To punish myself.

For being me.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know how many times I've done this now.

Countless.

I can't describe it.

The feeling.

When I pull the knife over my skin, it's just bizarre.

It's like I'm watching myself do it, like I'm not actually there.

A part of me hates the pain and wants to stop.

The other part of me craves it and wants to dig deeper.

I have to be careful where I cut, how much I cut.

Today was three cuts on the top of my wrist, I can hide them under my watch.

The watch Britt git me for my birthday last year. Kinda ironic.

I sit and watch the blood trickle from my wounds, lifting my hand up to make the scarlet lines travel further down my arm.

It puts me in a daze.

It's not through blood loss.

I don't think I've lost enough blood from it to be from that.

I think it's because of the release.

Right now my mind is blank.

I have a plan. A simple one.

Clean and disinfect cuts.

Bandage cuts.

Put on watch.

Take two sleeping pills.

Drink tequilla till I pass out.

There's no cheer practice tomorrow. So it doesn't matter if I'm hungover or not.

I have glee practice. But I don't think I'll go.

I can't sit in a room with the love of my life fawning over some loser and my ex best friend totally blanking me.

No amount of cutting or drinking could rid me of that hurt.

It honestly feels like I just blinked, I'm outside in the back yard. I'm lay on the decking near the pool.

The stars are so bright tonight.

I have to tell someone.

I try Brittany but her phone goes to voicemail.

I'll leave her a message anyway.

"I love you B.".

I can't think of anything else to say, so I hang up.

Quinn. I'll call Quinn. She likes stars and shit like that.

Her voice is kinda angry when she anwers.

"Hey Q.".

"what to yo want Santana. It's late!."

"The stars are so bright tonight. I thought you'd wanna know...y'know...because.".

I can't remember why I thought she should know.

"Are you high!?".

Her voice just turned into an angry hiss.

"Yea...no...no, no I'm just..drunk, and maybe a little high...I don't know.".

I shrug my shoulders. She can't see, but it just feels like the right thing to do.

"where are you Santana? Do you want me to pick you up? Is that why you're phoning?".

Her voice is loud again and angry...I think it's been angry since she answered.

"I'm at home Quinn. I don't need a ride.".

"Then why did you call!?".

She sounds tired. I can imagine her sliding her hand down her face. She always used for do that when she was tired. It's been so long since I saw her properly.

"I guess it's because I miss you.".

The line goes quiet and I check my phone to see if she's ended the call. But it's still counting the minutes.

"What happened to us Q? We used to be best friends."

"I don't know Santana. High school I guess.".

She sounded sad.

"Maybe we could start over?.".

A laugh. She actually laughed. But not a good laugh. A sad one.

"I don't think we can. Too much has happened."

I feel tears prick my eyes.

"I want to fix it Q.".

"You can't San. You can't fix it. You've hurt pretty much all of your friends. You've slept with three of my boyfriends. You've called me preggers since you found out I was pregnant. And even though I gave up Beth, you still call me by that name. You've blanked Britt since the week after summer break and you've insulted practically everyone in school. Even teachers.".

That hurt. I don't mean to be like that. I haven't blanked Britt on purpose. Its just too hard to talk to her right now. I barely remember sleeping with Puck, Finn or Sam. And they weren't even her boyfriends when I slept with them. And insulting everyone...I just...it hurt that nobody has asked me if I'm ok. Noticed that I'm breaking. I get angry, and I say stuff to them. I don't mean to, but it slips out.

As I open my mouth to say this, Q starts talking again.

"We can't fix anything Santana, because you can't change. You've always been a bitch, and you always will be a bitch. I'm sorry S.".

The line went goes quiet and I know she's hung up.

My throat burns and my eyes sting.

Luckily as I sit up I notice the tequilla next to me.

I pick it up and finish the last quarter off in one go.

It makes me wretch but I manage to keep it down.

Quinn was right. I'm always gonna be a bitch.

I'm in the bathroom again. I'm on the floor. Those pills are giving me some major blackouts. I don't know how long I've been here but I feel cold.

I notice blood on the beige tiles.

My wrist.

It's cut pretty deep.

Oh fuck.

I can see my phone near my feet, but it feels so far away.

I should call for help.

I know this is bad.

Or is it.

It's probably best.

I'm a bitch.

Nobody likes me.

I'll be out of their lives.

They'll be happy.

I won't hurt any more.

I don't need to call for help.

I deserve this.

They deserve this. To be free of me.

This is my gift.

I'm sorry to all of you I hurt.

Don't worry.

It's almost over now.

**So hey! Is anyone reading this or should I just stop? :)**

**Thanks.**

**Daisy x**


	5. Chapter 5

**So, hi! **

**Thanks for the reviews and follows and alerts...and for reading. **

**I'm gonna carry this story on and would appreciate any feedback. Good or bad. Just to help me write better for you guys.**

**Thanks again.**

**Daisy x**

Everything feels slow and heavy. Like I'm submerged in soup.

I can feel my body tingling.

There's this high pitched noise sounding in my ears.

And everything looks blurry.

I think it's almost over.

I hope it is.

I tried to move before. My phone was ringing.

I don't know who it was, but they kept calling back.

They've stopped now.

For a moment, whilst it rang. It felt like I wasn't alone.

Because somebody had to be thinking of me to call me.

It made me want answer it.

To ask why they were calling.

To ask what they were thinking about me.

But I can't move.

Everything is heavy and light at the same time.

My legs are numb.

My arms are tingling...but not in a good way.

My head feels too heavy.

Just like my eyelids.

I want to close them.

But I can't.

If I do, I will see them.

See everyone.

Everyone that didn't want me.

As a friend.

As a daughter.

As a girlfriend.

I can't stand the images I know I will see.

Britt...my beautiful, sweet, strong Britt.

Sat on _his _lap.

Whispering in _his _ear.

Looking lovingly into _his _eyes.

He doesn't deserve her. He's not good enough for her greatness.

But neither am I.

She's better off without me around.

I'm nothing.

I was only gonna end up working a pole.

That's what Berry said.

I walked out of glee that day.

I wouldn't break in front of them.

I hoped somebody would follow me. Tell me she was speaking bullshit. That I'm more than that. That Berry is just jealous, and I'm gonna be someone. Something.

But nobody followed.

I went straight home that day. I wanted my Mami or Papi. I needed their presence. I needed their love. But all I got was a note explaining another absence.

It's getting harder to breath now.

I'm trying to take deep breaths but my lungs won't let me.

They feel small.

I know I'm panting.

Like a fuckin dog.

I'm gonna die alone like a stray, unwanted dog.

I must've blacked out.

Everything is dark.

I can hear something.

It's raw. Like coughing.

My face suddenly begins to sting.

I force my eyes open.

It takes a moment for me to focus, I can see someone in front of me.

My arm is so heavy as I try to lift it.

I need to touch them.

To see if they are real.

A warm soft hand grips around my open wrist.

I hear the sound again.

It's not coughing.

It's crying.

"Oh God...S...how could you do this!?".

It's Quinn.

She doesn't sound angry anymore.

"I didn't mean...Ju..just hold on. I called an ambulance.".

Her hand is squeezing my wrist so tightly.

It hurts.

"ughhh".

Was that me!?

I sound so ...weak...

Of course I do!

I'm dying.

She shouldn't be here.

I want to die.

I _need _to die.

I _HAVE _to die!

I try to snatch my hand away.

"Go Q...jssst go.".

I'm slurring.

Her hand doesn't move.

"Did you take anything!?"

She sounds desperate.

"San...honey, please...what have you taken?!".

I don't answer her. My eyes focus and unfocus on her worried face.

Her cheeks are red. I think her eyes are too.

It makes my heart hurt a little.

I never wanted to hurt anyone.

I guess I have.

I'm hurting Quinn right now.

"I'm sorry Q".

I don't think she heard me.

Everything is getting fuzzy again.

"Love yyyou.".

I do.

She's my best friend.

Even if she has hated me for most of this year.

I have to tell her.

"Just ho...hold on...please..hold on and we'll fix everything".

I try to shake my head. I think I managed to.

She cries loudly and I feel her head drop onto my shoulder.

Slowly I manage to bring up my free hand and weakly wrap it around her shoulder.

"Thanks...for being here...I didn't wanna...be alone.".

If possible her hand grips tighter around my wrist and she sobs loudly into my neck.

Her cries are getting quieter as I feel myself slipping back into unconsciousness.

A smile takes over my face as the world around me darkens.

It's almost over.

And I'm not alone anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys. Thanks for the reviews. This chapter is from Quinn's pov. Please let me know of any characters you'd like in this story.**

**Thanks**

**Daisy x**

My hands are covered in her blood. My arms, my legs...everywhere. Her blood is all over me.

If I hadn't of gone to her house...

If I hadn't tried to call her back and apologise...

She could be...NO!.

I won't think like that.

I did try to call her, 7 times in fact. She didn't answer. I was worried. I had a right to be.

She called me up when she was drunk and high.

She told me she missed me.

But it's not just tonight.

I've witnessed her pulling away from everyone.

I noticed she stopped eating in school.

Her eyes were so empty and sad whenever I caught a glimpse of them.

I thought it was because of coach putting her at the bottom of the pyramid...which was my fault.

I should have thought about why Santana felt the need to have breast Implants before I even broached the subject with coach.

But I was too focused on getting back to the top of the food chain.

Too bothered with my own life to realise someone I love is hurting so bad they need surgery and alcohol to make them feel normal.

And here I am. Shaking and covered in blood as I watch my best friend fight for her life in the back of an ambulance as we rush to Lima general.

I hate myself.

They keep asking me questions.

What has she taken?

When did she do this?

Has she eaten today?

How long has she been depressed?

"I don't know.".

That's my answer to everything.

She's so pale. Her skin is usually so beautiful, it glows.

But not anymore.

Her lips are blue, her skin is almost white and only now do I realise how painfully thin she is.

I'm a terrible friend.

The blood that covers me is beginning to dry and tighten on my skin.

Suffocating my pores.

I feel sick.

The EMT must know, he spins round handing me a cardboard bowl.

I empty my small dinner from earlier into it.

The acrid smell of bile mixing with the copper smell of Santana's blood.

I can't believe this is happening.

It can't be happening...she's so young...

She can't die...I..oh God.

My stomach empties itself for the second time as the paramedics squeezes another bag of fluid, forcing it into San's body faster.

He looks worried.

"She's gonna be ok right?".

Wow, my voice is so...weak.

"Sir...she's gonna be fine right..right!?"

He turns and looks sadly at me.

"She needs blood. Lots of it. She's weak. It's all up to her body now.".

My ears start ringing loudly.

The back of the ambulance becomes too small, too hot.

My clothes...they're so tight.

I can't breath.

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.

My eyes...everything is going dark...

I can't breath.

I can't breath.

Suddenly artificial light burst through the back of the ambulance.

Santana is wheeled out on her stretcher.

I feel somebody grip my arm, I turn to see a nurse place an oxygen mask on my face.

She's trying to speak to me but I can't hear anything.

Its like I'm underwater.

Everything is moving so fast.

Santana is gone...they've taken her away.

To fix her.

To save her.

I'm in a wheelchair now.

The nurse is walking next to me, her hand on my shoulder.

She should be helping Santana.

Not babying me.

San is dying.

She needs everyone to help fix her.

I try to pull my mask off but the nurse stops me.

I try to pull my hand from her grip.

I have to tell her.

She has to help Santana.

I shake my head and try to pull my mask off with my other hand.

She shouts for help.

I don't know why.

I have to tell her.

Santana needs her more than me!

I manage to push her hands away and stand out of the chair.

"please...help Tana"

My breathing is laboured.

The edges of my vision are darkening again.

I feel hands around my waist.

Then blackness overtakes me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey folks. This is also from Quinn's Pov. Thanks for reviewing and reading the last chapter. **

**Please read, review and enjoy!**

**Daisy x**

Apparently I passed out.

A panic attack they said. I've never had one before...I guess I'll believe them.

They asked for Santana's parents' contact details, that was an hour ago.

Neither of them are here. I heard one of the nurses complaining about uncaring parents off gallivanting in the Med...I suspect that'll be Mr and Mrs L.

I wonder how long they've left her alone for this time.

I know she hates being alone in that house, hates not seeing her parents. I think I prefer it.

I know what Mr Lopez does to her.

San doesn't know that I do.

I don't think she knows she talks in her sleep.

Sometimes she cries.

When we used to have sleepovers I would hear her, whimpering, sniffling, begging. Then it would go quiet, a few minutes would pass and I'd feel her crawl into bed with me, she'd make some lame excuse about not being comfortable or being cold, I'd make equally lame excuses about being a snuggle fiend...I just wanted to hold her till she felt safe.

I always wanted to help her, but I know Tana. She'd shut down, push me away...well,I guess that happened anyway.

I mean, look at where we are.

I'm stuck in a crappy observation cubicle whilst she's fighting for her life in ICU after slitting her fucking wrist and downing a bottle of tequila and God knows what else.

"knock knock"

I look up from my lap to see a tall blonde woman stood at the curtained entrance to my cubicle. She has this perfect Hollywood smile and kind eyes.

But I have no idea who she is or what she wants, so I just tilt my head.

She must see the question in my eyes.

"I'm Holly Holiday"

She steps forward and holds out her hand.

Hesitantly I take it.

"I'm here to speak to you about your friend, Santana Lopez."

I feel myself stiffen instantly. The image of Santana breathing shallowly as her blood soaked hand reached for me flashing painfully through my mind.

"Hey there sweet thing, don't look so scared"

Holly's voice snaps my mind back to reality.

"sorry" I croak.

She smiles softly at me and places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"It's ok honey. I just need to ask you some questions and I need you to be honest. Is that ok?

I feel a frown cross my forehead and Holly instantly notices.

"It's real important for you to help me here girly. Santana is obviously in a bad place and I need to help her. And the only way I can do that is if I know what's been going on with her.".

Her face is stone cold serious now.

I nod my head yes and she smiles, pulling up a chair and opening a diary I hadn't noticed she had.

"You told the paramedic Santana was your best friend, have you noticed her mood or demeanour change recently?"

Wow...an easy start there. Not.

"We...uh..we fell out before summer break. I haven't spoken to her in months, well except for arguing.".

Holly writes something in her pad and continues.

"Ok...even though you weren't speaking, did she seem different to you?"

"Yes.".

The answer is instant.

"She's been angrier, more closed off. She wouldn't even talk to Britt."

"Britt?".

Way to go Quinn!

"Umm, she's...she was San's other best friend...it's really complicated and I won't break Tana's trust by revealing secrets that aren't mine to tell. I know that won't help her."

Holly eyes me up then nods as if accepting my answer.

"Ok chica, I am down and accepting with that. But I need you to tell me if you know of anything that could flip your ex besties mood...like failing at school, problems at home..anything".

It felt as though Holly knew something. Like she was hinting for me to confirm her suspicions.

Maybe this was my way to help San.

I wouldn't out her.

But I would sure as Hell out her excuse of a father.

"San scarily smart. She couldn't fail school if she tried."

I hear my voice quiver.

"As for problems at home..."

I close my eyes and bite my lip. I can't do this.

I shake my head.

Holly places her diary down and reaches over, squeezing my hand.

"Anything you know is vital sweetheart. If something is going on in her home life, we need to know so we can assess the situation and take the appropriate action". She releases her hold on my hand and sits back fully, giving me an encouraging look.

I feel tears build up behind my eyes and my lip begin to tremble.

I have to do this.

I have to.

But it doesn't make it any easier.

"A few years ago, she stopped letting me sleep over at her house...I didn't know why. She said something about my house being better."

My voice is beginning to break.

"Then I started noticing bruises. On her legs. Her shoulders...her arms, even her wrists..."

I shake my head as the first tears start.

"It's ok honey. Your doing great.".

Holly's voice it's soft and gently pushes me further.

"She...she cries in her sleep...well, she used to."

A sob tears through my throat.

"she'd beg For him to stop...for her papi to stop..."

I can't carry on anymore.

My body shakes and rattles as I cough and cry through apologies.

I feel an oxygen mask cover my face again and something prick my arm.

Everything behind to slow and fade as I hear Holly call out to place San in protective custody.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey folks. Thanks for the reviews, readings and faves and follows!**

**It made me soooooo happy to read that you thought my writing had improved! Thank you! :))**

**Anywho, enjoy!**

**Daisy x**

I've been awake for about 20 minutes.

I know where I am. I've been here a million times before.

Cheerleading injuries, school fights, alcohol poisoning a couple of times...my Papi hurting me.

I'm in Lima general.

My left wrist is throbbing painfully.

It feels as though there's a thousand pounds of pressure trying to bust out of my head.

My whole body feels like I've done two weeks of Coach Sue's suicide drill days.

Suicide.

There's that word.

It's what I did right?

I don't remember a lot. But I do remember, not once did I try to stop the blood.

I didn't call for help.

I did nothing.

So, even if it started out as an accident...it ended in suicide.

Well...attempted suicide.

I can't even succeed at killing myself.

I'm pathetic.

How am I even alive!?

I was alone.

Mami and Papi are exploring the Mediterranean...again.

I'm sure they know it better than the locals.

"your awake"

My eyes snap up to a very pale Quinn Fabray.

She stood unsteadily at the doorway to my room.

Her eyes are scanning me as if to assess my injuries.

It makes me feel uncomfortable.

She looks so...tired...upset...scared?

The last time I saw her like this was after I woke her with one of my crappy nightmares.

Her skin paler than usual.

Her beautiful Hazel eyes dull and empty.

Her nose and cheeks tinted reddish pink.

Just like now.

She's been crying.

"Qui-" Painful scratching in my throat causes me to break into a fit of coughing.

I lean forward, my body screaming and protesting at the movement.

The coughs are making me wretch but nothing comes up.

Just air and spittle.

A straw is placed into my now blurred line of sight.

I nod frantically for it to be moved closer.

A soft hand cups my cheeks as it is guided to my lips, my eyes close as I try to resist the urge to gag as the fluid travels down and burns the inside of my throat.

After a few sips it begins to wash away the dry pain.

The hand that was on my cheek is now brushing my hair back behind my ear.

I slowly lean back down and when I open my eyes I see Quinn's watery ones staring back worried.

Then it hits me.

Quinn sobbing, telling me to hold on.

Her hand clamped around my wrist.

Her head resting against my shoulder as she cried into my neck.

I jerk away from her.

Her eyes sadden, if that's even possible.

"You should have left me!". I hiss...although it sounds more like a broken whisper.

A tear rolls down her cheek as she pulls her hand away.

"San...please. Don't say that.".

God, she sounds so broken.

But I shouldn't care.

She hates me.

She said I'll always be a bitch.

She told me we couldn't fix our friendship.

"Why Q? Why shouldn't I say it.".

I have to stop and close my eyes for a moment.

Pain is shooting through my wrist and up my arm.

It's as if it's aching to be opened again.

I want to so badly open it again.

To tear these bandages off and scratch at my skin, until my blood flows and the feelings stop.

My thoughts stop.

My heart stops.

"You told me we were over...I would always be a bitch...I was doing you a fuckin favor"

Her head drops..

Her shoulders begin to shake.

I made her cry.

I made her cry with her own truths.

She was right.

Everyone was right.

I'll always be a bitch - Quinn.

I'll amount to nothing - Berry.

I'm selfish - Artie.

I'm not good enough -Brittany.

I'm a nasty person - Finn.

With their words or their actions, they proved I was worthless.

The list is endless.

Everyone in my life hates me.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Everything is hard and I'm so fucking alone.

Nobody knows who I really am.

Nobody even tries to see.

I've been drowning for so long and nobody even noticed.

Let alone tried to save me.

Quinn shouldn't have been there.

She fucked everything up.

I was half way to freedom.

From all of this hell.

"I was angry Tana.".

"Don't you dare call me that!".

A whimper escapes her lips and for a moment I regret my tone.

"I'm sorry San...I wanna fix this...i-"

Her words feel like a slap to my face and I forget my momentary guilt.

"you feel guilty for what happened. You want to absolve yourself.". I wave my right hand weakly as I shoot her a look of disdain. "You're forgiven...it wasn't even your fault. Now leave me alone.".

I turn onto my side facing the window, my back towards her.

I can feel her eyes on me.

Scanning my body.

She's nervous.

"I did something S...something you're going to hate me for. But I had to. I, I just had to.".

My whole body tenses as scenarios run through my mind.

There's one that petrifies me.

But she doesn't know about that.

She can't.

I've never told anyone.

Not even Mami.

Although a part of me thinks she knows too.

"I told someone about your father...what...what he does to you...".

I feel what little color I had, drain from my face.

I never told her.

"I don't know what you mean Fabray. Now leave.".

Her footsteps echo in the small room as she walks around my bed to face me.

I'm in too much pain to turn onto my left side, so I close my eyes.

"Don't act stupid with me Santana. We both know you're not.".

She practically hisses at me.

I don't move.

I don't open my eyes.

I don't even breath.

I feel her kneel in front of me, her hands rest against the safety rail of the bed.

"You cry in your sleep San. You beg and...".

Her voice begins to break.

My heart feels as though it's being squeezed and dropped from a thousand feet up at the same time.

My skin prickles.

I begin to sweat.

This isn't happening.

This is not happening.

"I know Tana...I know and I'm so...oh God, I'm so sorry.".

My eyes snap open as a sob escapes her.

I'm shocked to see how truly shaken she is.

I can only imagine what I look like.

I know I'm pale.

I know tears have started pouring down my face.

My once still breathing is now erratic.

I shake my head rapidly.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no.".

A sob rips through my painful throat and I feel Quinn's arms wrap around me.

I try to struggle free but she tightens her grip.

"I'm sorry S. I'm so sorry".

It's all too much.

Nobody should know.

Now Quinn admits she's known...for god knows how long.

And she's told someone.

My heart jumps and bounces in unsteady patterns.

My chest feels full and empty at the same time.

This can't be happening.

Nobody was meant to know.

Papi is gonna be so angry with me.

Oh God...

I can't breath.

I can't believe this.

I feel my whole body begin to shake.

I can feel Quinn's arms tighten around me even more.

In her embrace I find a small amount of peace.

She hums quietly as she steadily rocks me.

My eyes begin to drift shut.

The exhaustion from everything that has happened pulling me into sleep.

Quinn holding me tightly, ensuring it's a nightmareless one.

**So what do ya think?**

**More Holly coming up in the next installment. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey..thanks for the reviews and the reading and the following and the favouriting and the being awesomeing! :D**

**Pleas read, enjoy and review. ;)**

**Holly pov.**

My eyes blur as I place the file I've just printed down.

I've gathered as much information on the Lopez's as possible.

They seem like your perfect family.

Mrs Lopez is a high flying corporate lawyer.

Mr Lopez is a chief trauma surgeon.

And Santana.

She has many acolades.

High school cheerleader.

Extremely intelligent.

Aceing all of her classes.

Already being head hunted for college.

Member of glee club.

Popular.

She has every teenagers dream of a perfect life.

Or so it would seem.

Her friend...Quinn, Lucy Quinn Fabray, has insinuated Santana has and possibly still does, suffer abuse from Mr Lopez.

What kind of abuse, I do not know.

Also Quinn's silence over this alleged abuse is quite puzzling and I believe there may be more to her story.

The Lopez's are as of yet, unaware of their daughters admission to Lima general, and I have taken this opportunity to place Santana into care of the state. A foster home will be arranged for her upon her release.

Miss Fabray will be interviewed more thoroughly regarding these allegations and both girls will be assigned a therapist.

This has been a traumatising event for the two of them and I believe they will both benefit greatly from counseling.

My knees crack as I stand from the borrowed desk.

I've been sat for too long.

After they sedated Quinn I decided to begin the processes of investigation, I love my job...but hot damn there's a _lot _of paperwork.

Checking my watch I realise Quinn should be awake now. Also her parents should have arrived a little over an hour ago.

I should really speak with them about the lopez's.

I decide to make my way to her room.

xxxx

**Santana pov.**

You know that feeling when you're falling asleep and suddenly you jerk awake?

That just totally happened.

I think I've been asleep for a while though.

The two main giveaways are...

Quinn snoring lightly against me chest,

And there's a blonde lady staring at me.

Ugh..what the actual fuck?

"Hey there honey.".

Honey!?

"Honey!?.".

"Ok. Santana..".

She walks over to me and hold out her hand. I just stare at it and she pulls it back, shrugging.

"My name is Holly. Holly Holiday, I'm gonna be your social worker.

My eyes widen and I tense up, Quinn mumbles something and snuggles into me further.

Then it hits me like a brick in the face.

I push Q the fuck off of me.

She yelps a little and sits up shocked, wiping sleep from her annoyingly perfect eyes.

"The fuck Santana!?".

Her voice is raspy and I can tell she's pissed by her tone.

I motion to Holly with my eyes.

"This the person you told that bullshit to?". I snap.

Quinn's eyes dart to Holly and she nods, whispering "It's not bullshit.".

I don't know if we were meant to hear her, but we did.

It makes me angry.

"Yes it is Q...so what, I have a couple of bad dreams and you jump to rape!? You're twisted!". My tone is sharp and my eyes are focused on Quinn.

"Of course not Santana! And I said nothing about rape...I saw bruises alll over your body!". She slides off the bed and folds her arms, cocking her hip to the side.

Classic Fabray bitch pose.

"Bruises from Cheerleading, you dumbass!". Wow Santana! Award yourself ten points for awesome comebacks. Not.

"Girlies.".

That was Holly.

"Stop this.".

We don't listen.

"FYI, Lopez. I'm a cheerleader too. I've never had bruises like that!".

She's getting angry now.

I don't care.

I was at anger a long time ago!

"Well congrats Fabray! Just more of you that's super awesome!". I smile my fakest smile and clap my hands, instantly regretting it when pain shoots through my wrist.

xxxxx

**Quinn pov.**

I see San flinch as she claps her hands.

It makes my heart drop.

It reminds me of why we're here.

Why arguing is so pointless.

I know she'll never admit what happened.

I know it and it makes me want to scream.

My heart rate picks up.

I know what I have to do.

My palms begin to sweat.

It's only right.

Everything becomes louder. I swear I can hear San and Holly breathing.

I close my eyes and clench my fists.

"I know what he did to you Tana...I, I know because he...he did it to me too.".

I hear the them both gasp.

It feels like somebody pressed pause.

Silence fills the room.

I slowly open my eyes.

Holly is looking at me with sympathy. San is just staring straight ahead.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I run to the small trash can.

I heave and wretch but nothing comes out.

I feel Holly's hands on my back rubbing soothing circles.

She's speaking to me but I can't hear anything over my heart pounding in my ears.

Suddenly her hands are gone.

I turn to see her press the call button on the wall.

Santana has just torn her IV from her arm and is struggling over the safety bar of her bed.

Blood is pouring down her arm and her face is contorted.

She's screaming.

Suddenly voice hits me.

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM"

Tears are pouring down her face as she stumbles upright.

"THE FUCKER!".

I drop onto my ass as two nurses rush in.

Holly rushes over and catches San as she begins to fall.

"NO!".

Her voice is breaking...as well as my heart.

"I...I Have to...".

One of the nurses has injected her with something and she goes limp.

"I have to fix...this.".

Holly picks her up and lays her back in the bed as a doctor walks in.

I feel wetness on my cheeks as the four adults begin to rapidly exchange information.

I didn't know I was crying.

Santana limply turns her head and locks watery eyes with me.

She mouths the words "I'm sorry" and a sob escapes my throat.

I shake my head.

She shouldn't be sorry.

It wasn't her fault.

None of it was.

She tried to protect me.

She stopped me coming over.

But he'd already got to me.

Already tainted my childhood and scared me into silence.

If anything it's my fault.

I should have spoken to her.

I should have told her.

But I was scared.

If I didn't say it aloud, it didn't exist.

And now look at us.

Crying and broken.

In hospital.

Santana tried to kill herself.

This is all too much.

Shakily I stand and mutter a quick apology.

Then I run.

I need to be anywhere but here.

My breath is ragged.

My body is sore.

But I need to escape.

So my feet take me away.

My mind blank.

And they guide me to the only place I have ever truly felt safe.

Brittany's.

**Soooo...good, bad? **

**Hope it explained Quinn's silence for ya.:)**

**Thanks again.**

**Daisy x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Heyho! **

**Sorry if it seemed a bit forced in the last chapter. I'm still really new to this writing stuff and I've got a lot to learn!**

**I'm on a late shift tonight so I will be updating again within the next few hours.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

**Mega, super, awesome thanks for reading and reviewing! :)**

**Daisy x**

**Brittany pov .**

It's funny how life is.

Things can seem so different to what they really are.

People can seem happy and really be falling apart inside.

Or they can seem cold, but really..they're loving you without your knowledge.

They seem like the biggest bitch in the world, but really...they're just as scared as you.

I was just getting into bed, tomorrow is Friday, the last day of school till Monday. Friday's are super hard.

We get like, double homework and pop quizzes and coach is extra nasty. I think it's because she doesn't like being alone on weekends...or she needs to release all of the badness before she goes home because it will poison her.

But anyway, I goodnight to Lord T when Quinn climbed through my window.

Her hair was messy and her eyes were red, she looked pale and the wasn't breathing properly.

I stood up and she ran into me and starting crying.

I don't think I've ever seen anybody cry so hard.

Except Santana.

But I'm not allowed to talk about that.

San says she just gets super sad in her dreams sometimes, and it makes it worse when she wakes up and she can't fix the sad things.

It scares me...or it used to scare me.

S doesn't come over anymore.

Not since I started dating Artie.

I miss her so much.

But right now isn't about her. It's about Q.

My other best friend.

People say we could be sisters and it makes the biggest smile run all over my face.

Quinn is really smart and totally pretty...and not a lot of people know it, but she's so kind.

Right now she's scaring me though.

I can feel her dropping to the floor, so I scoop her up and lay her on my bed. I snuggle into her and she buries into me.

I stroke my right hand through her soft hair.

"What's wrong Q.?".

She just cries into my chest.

"Hey...it's ok.".

"It's not...it's never been ok. It never will be ok.".

Her voice is shaking and I have to strain to hear her

My heart hurts a little when I hear what she says.

"Q...honey, are...are... you pregnant again?".

A mixture between a sob and a laugh breaks out of her and I squeeze her a little tighter.

"No Brit...it's not that easy...".

I feel her begin to tremble and she pulls back a little.

Her puffy red eyes locking with my wide blues.

"S...S tried to...".

Another sob escapes her mouth.

I'm sure my heart all but stops.

"Santana tried to what, Quinn?".

My voice sounds higher than normal.

I have a bad feeling.

San always tries to pretend she's happy, but I know inside she's not.

She pretends nothing hurts her, but I know she feels every nasty or bad thing said to her.

Santana has never been 100% ok...and right now I'm scared.

Quinn shakes her head and lets out a whimper.

She closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip.

"San tried to kill herself yesterday.".

XXxxXX

**Holly pov.**

It's always astounded me.

The secrets children and young adults can keep.

Santana and Quinn are prime examples.

From the scene just over an hour ago, it has become apparent both girls have suffered at the hands of Mr Lopez.

For how long, I am unsure.

But both girls have remained silent.

Santana had to be sedated.

Her distress was overriding her bodies pain and she was in danger of hurting herself.

Mrs pierce has also contacted the hospital, informing us Quinn is safe with her daughter and will be brought back in tomorrow.

My attempts to contact Mr and Mrs Fabray have proved futile.

How many families leave their children alone and in hospital.

It's upsetting to say the least.

I'm currently waiting for Santana's temporary foster parents to arrive.

We have used them before and I know they will provide the young girl with a kind, warm household until my investigation is complete.

From the corner of my eye, I spot the people I was waiting for enter the reception area.

They both instantly smile and walk towards me.

We exchange quick hugs and I walk them to the room Santana is currently asleep in.

"So, Mr and Mr Berry. As I informed you on the phone, she has some deep routed issues.".

I pause at the door and see both men looking back at me sadly whilst nodding.

"Suspected...and upsettingly, most probable sexual abuse. Alcohol and drug overdose. Self harm issues and from what I have observed, she has some anger problems too.".

I pause after quickly reminding the men of the cliff notes of Santana's case.

"We're both aware of this Holly. And we're more than prepared".

The men looked at each other then back to me.

Determination shone in their eyes.

With a deep breath I smiled, then pushed open the door.

Our feisty little latina should be coming out of her drug induced sleep now.

Just in time to meet her new foster family.

Walking into the room, I notice she's still passed out, when I turn to the Berry's I see their faces pale.

"Santana...Santana Lopez.". Breathes Hiram.

They know her.

How?

I know it's a small town but-

"She's in glee club with our daughter...I...you say her father is suspected...?"

That was Leroy this time. Hiram has made it over to the sleeping girls side and is looking sadly at her. His eyes fixed on the bandaging around her wrist.

I nod to Leroy's question.

"Yes. I'm afraid so."

I walk to the bottom of the bed and fix my gaze on both men.

"If this is going to be a problem, I can arrange different care for her.".

Instantly they shake their heads, no and I smile a little.

"It's just. She never...you wouldn't have thought...".

Hiram leaves his sentence hanging. But we all know what he means.

XXxxXX

**Santana pov **

Ugh, feel...just ugh.

My eyes are heavy as I try to open them.

I can hear mumbling.

Hushed voices around me.

A throbbing pain in my arm reminds me of where I am.

Then the memories flood back.

Holly Holiday.

Quinn.

Papi...

Oh God, Papi hurt Q!

I shoot upright, my eyes snapping open as I do.

"Quinn!".

I gasp.

"Hey there chica, it's ok. Quinn's ok".

Holly appears in front of me, her hand brushing through my hair.

"She...she ran..is she ok?!".

I can hear the weakness in my voice and it makes me sick.

I crunch my eyes up and pull away from her.

"She's fine girly. She's catching some Z's at a friends place and she'll be back In the morning...ok?".

Damn Holiday and her damn calmness.

I nod and lay back a little against my now propped up bed.

My eyes dart around the room and land on two very familiar men.

"Hi Santana.".

They with greet in unison.

"Mr Berry...s".

I say back lamely.

I'm beginning to think it's true about alcohol killing your braincells.

Holly steps back and stands next to them.

"Honey, after the allegations brought up by Quinn, I was forced to place you into the care of the state. Mr and Mr Berry have agreed to foster you whilst I complete my investigation.".

My eyes widen.

Investigation.

Foster care.

"Wha...what?".

Hiram steps up to my side.

"I know this is difficult Santana. But we cannot let you go home into a possibly dangerous situation. You will be living with us indefinitely.".

His voice is soft but I can hear an anger under there, I know it isn't directed at me.

But at my father.

I shake my head.

This can't be happening.

I just wanted it all to stop.

That's what I was doing.

I was making it all stop.

Then me and they...they saved me.

But they didn't.

They just made it worse.

Everything is bright.

And loud.

And hard.

And scary.

They kept me alive.

They kept me alive and now I have to deal with this.

My wrist throbs.

I wonder if it will do this every time I want to die.

I look up to the three people eyeing me cautiously.

And I resign to the fact that this is happening.

My eyes close as I nod my head and a tear runs down my cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

**Quinn's pov.**

I hate myself.

As I look at her normally stoic face scrunch up in her sleep, I realise how stupid I have been.

I was scared.

He did things to me.

Over and over again.

He took pieces of me.

He threatened me.

He made me feel like it was my fault.

I stayed quiet.

Pretended it never happened.

Even when I saw the signs with San.

When the nightmares started.

When she stopped me coming over.

How she'd flinch ever so slightly when people touched her. Only enough for me to notice. But she flinched none the less.

Her bruises.

Her weight loss.

Her isolation.

Her anger.

I hate myself so fuckin much.

But I didn't want it to be true.

I didn't want her to be hurting.

In my mind I made this idiotic scenario up.

Where she was jealous of me. That's why she pulled away.

She wanted to know what it ws like to be me. That's why she always insisted she stay over at mine.

She was the squads best flyer. That's why her weight was low.

She was a bitch. She just was...but I knew better.

I hit myself in the head with my bottle of water, garnering a worried look from Brittany and Mrs P.

I need to stay calm.

I had fallen asleep in Brittany's arms yesterday and the Pierce's, as always, looked after me.

Mrs P had phoned the hospital after I had given her Holly's name and arranged for me to stay with them over night.

My parents are on some ridiculous Christian political campaign somewhere across the country anyway. So they wouldn't notice I wasn't home.

I doubt they even knew I had been in hospital.

Franny was being her usual elusive self.

I had txt and facebooked her, but she was either ignoring me or away on another boozed up weekend with college friends.

I don't blame her though.

I can't wait to escape our parents.

I'm pretty sure I'll pretend they don't exist when I leave for college.

So here I am.

Mrs P is holding on to Santanas right hand as she sleeps off the last of her morphine.

She was kinda woozy when we got here at 9am.

She just laughed when she saw me and mumbled something about living with Berry before dozing off.

It's been an hour.

Brittany hasn't stopped crying.

She doesn't know the full story. Just that Tana tried to end her life.

That's hard enough to deal with alone.

I don't know how she'll take the other parts.

Mrs P knows.

I can see it in her eyes.

Usually they're full of this, optimism and energy. Even when Britts grandmother died last month, Mrs P's eyes still held hope and sunshine. It's definitely where Britt gets it from.

But right now, they're sad and they hold something akin to pity...sympathy I think.

She looks at me the same.

Holly must have told her last night.

I'm stood by the door.

I haven't moved since I got here.

Britt is on a chair next to her mom, her head leaning against her shoulder.

Mrs P's arm is wrapped around her, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder.

I wish I had that.

But I don't.

I wish a lot of things.

That San had a different father.

That I had told someone what he did to me...what he did to her.

What the bastard did to us both.

I wish so much that I had spoken to San.

That I told her she wasn't alone.

That I cared about her.

But I did none of that.

And here I am, watching one of my best friends fall apart whilst the other fights demons in her sleep.

I'll never forgive myself.

I hate myself.

With one last look I turn and leave.

I have to speak with Holly.

I have to try and fix this.

XXxxXX

**Rachel's pov.**

(Daddy is Hiram, Dad is Leroy)

Santana Lopez is going to be staying in my house.

The Santana Lopez who has made my life Hell since middle school.

The Santana Lopez who I verbally attacked in a fit of rage over her constant slurrs on our glee family.

The Santana Lopez who I was expecting to fight back...and in a physical manner.

I guess when she walked out of that choir room without so much as a sideways glance, I should have known.

I should have noticed something.

She stopped her insults after that.

Stopped singing.

Stopped talking.

She even stopped coming to glee these last two weeks.

A lovely lady named Holly Holiday had just been to help my parents sign the necessary forms concerning her temporary care.

Dad and Daddy had let me stay off school and explained Santana was in hospital. But I know there's more.

It's written all over their faces and this is the first day I've ever taken off academics, apart from the time I had a terrible case of laryngitus.

"Sweety. Santana has been through a lot. And me and your Dad don't really know how much to tell you.". Daddy shifts his glasses up his nose as he finishes.

"I, I want to know so I can help. I don't want to say the wrong thing.". I see them looking at each other sceptically, and decide to plead. "Dad...Daddy, please! Santana and I don't have the best history, but if she is going to be part of this family, no matter how short or long for, should I not at least know why!?".

It seems to work, they both slump a little and Dad decides to take the lead.

"Ok Honey B...only if you're sure.".

His tone and the way they both look at me makes me question if I really want to know, but I nod my head yes anyway.

I want to help Santana.

If she's been placed into the foster care system, she needs it.

"Santana tried to take her life on Wednesday.".

I gasp and raise my hand to my chest.

"Luckily, Quinn Fabray found her in time and she received life saving treatment.".

My Daddy takes off his glasses then sits next to me, placing a comforting arm over my shoulders.

"It would appear that Santana has suffered...".

He shakes his head.

"Leroy, it's ok.". Daddy's voice seems to help my Dad compose himself.

I notice tears in my Dad's eyes as he continues.

"Sweetness, it's becoming more and more apparent that Santana has suffered sexual abuse from her father...there are other issues also, such as self harm and her anger that we need to address...but we can find her somewhere else if you are not comfortable with all of this. We know its a lot.".

I feel sick.

This couldn't be.

Santana's a cheerleader, she's popular and loud...brash and confident!

She, she's Santana Lopez. Head bitch in charge.

Take no prisoners.

But...it's all making sense now.

She was a bully...but only because she was bullied.

By her own God damn father.

She slept around, not because she enjoyed it...but because she needed to control something.

She put on a bitchy façade to cover up her pain...

Oh Santana...

As all the information and realisations hit me, both my parents wrapped their arms around me and made sure I felt safe and loved as I shed tears over the harrowing life Santana has kept hidden from us all.

"I want her to stay with us. I want us to help her.".

I whisper and my parents tighten their embrace

XXxxXX

**Santana's pov.**

Ok, this needs to stop.

I need to stop feeling like I've been to an all night kegger party at Puck's, when all I've done is lie in a fucking hospital bed for two days!

As I open my eyes I see Mrs P and Brittany sat beside my bed.

WTF!?

"Sanny!". Croaks Britt.

She's been crying.

I see her lean forward as though she wants to hug me, but she thinks twice and settles on standing up.

Things have been awkward between me and B since before summer break, and it hurts to see that we're still in that bad place.

"I...I was so worried, but Mom wouldn't let us come down until this morning, and, and you were asleep...I wanted to wake you up but Mom said you wouldn't, the morphine knocked you out. But I've been here and I'm pretty sure Coach Sue is gonna be hella angry because I'm meant to help choreograph the routine for next satur-"

"Britt, honey. Calm down.". Mrs P places a hand on her shoulder as she stands.

"It's good to see you awake sweetheart.". She stands up beside Britt and leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead and sweeping my messy hair back with her hand. "How are you feeling honey?".

Tears build in the corners of my eyes and I shake my head.

Mrs P has always been like a mother to me. More so than my own. And I haven't seen her since Britt and I stopped speaking.

Having her here now.

Seeing me all weak and vulnerable...

It's embarrassing, mortifying and comforting all at once.

She proves how much she knows me by leaning over again and wrapping me in a hug.

It should be awkward because I'm still lay down, but as my arms shakily wrap around her shoulders, I feel at home.

Pressure builds in my throat and a cry escapes my mouth.

She tightens her arms around me and lifts me till I'm sitting, then she crawls onto the small bed and pulls me onto her, rocking me gently and shushing me as she runs her hands over my back and through my hair.

"It's going to be ok princess. It's all going to be ok.".

I cough and hiccup through sobs and whimpers.

My composure lost and my defences down.

"I'm sorry Mrs P...I'm so sorry.". I sob.

I feel her tense a little at my words

"No Santana!". She says sternly. "Never apologize for what you have been through. None of this is your fault. None of it. Ok?". Her voice softens towards the end but I still can't help but blame myself.

I shake my head, no.

Another round of sobs echoing around the room.

"Oh my sweet baby girl.". She humms into my hair.

Tightening her grip.

"What has he done to you.".

I feel dampness on my forehead and realise Mrs P is crying too.

When I open my eyes I see Brittany, just standing there frozen. Tears clouding her beautiful blue eyes.

Another sob tears through my body and I reach an arm out to her.

"Britt.". I whisper through tears.

Within an instant she is wrapped around me and her mother, crying loudly.

I can't believe I have caused everyone so much pain.

I'm a terrible person.

My wrist throbs painfully, reminding me.

I'm so sorry.

I never meant to hurt any of you.

**Hey! Sooooo...hope that was ok!? :-/**

**Any suggestions would of what you'd like to see in this fic would be appreciated. **

**There's gonna be more Holly, San and Quinn in the next chapter.**

**Let me know what ya think. :) **

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favorite...ing!**

**Daisy x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys. **

**So this is a short chapter, sorry about that.**

**I'm completely exhausted after drinking far too much yesterday and getting tattooed for six painful hours today!**

**There will be another up in the next 6 or so hours, after I've caught some z's and eaten me some tasty food!**

**Uhm, as for Santana getting into a relationship...I was hoping you guys would let me know if you want that and if so, with whom. It's either Quinn or Britt I think..let me know.**

**Thanks for the reviews, they make me smile! :)**

**Enjoy (hopefully)**

**Daisy x**

I'm heartbroken.

Devastated.

Furious.

Upset.

Worried.

Scared.

I'm a million different emotions right now.

My two beautiful girls have cried themselves to sleep.

Brittany is holding Santana so tight, I'm surprised the poor girl can breath. But that's Britt. She's always held on to Santana. Always worshipped the ground she walked on, followed her example, listened to her intently and nurtured her softly.

Santana has always been the same with Britty.

Protecting her, pushing her to better herself academically, worshipping everything about her and looking at her with nothing but devotion and love in her eyes.

I remember taking her to see Britts first production dance performance. They were both only 12.

But I realised it that day.

The way Brittany's eyes frantically searched the crowd until they landed on San.

The way Britt's entire body relaxed as they looked at each other.

Then there was Santana.

How nervous she was for my daughter.

How she bought two copies of the program that held a single picture of Britt.

One for looking at and one to frame, she said.

Oh, I realised that day.

I realised they were in love.

Santana has been a part of our family since the first day Britt asked if she could come over and play.

They were the tender age of 5...it seems like a lifetime ago.

She was so shy, so scared.

She clung to Britty's hand the whole time she was in our home.

But as she grew, so did her confidence...or so I thought.

It seems it was all just a charade.

I can feel tears threaten to fall again. Santana is too young for this. Too young to be trying to take her life...too young for that bastard to...

Ugh!

I know nobody should go through this sort of thing.

But she's in high school.

She's a baby...

If I ever get my hands on Marco I'll tear his dirty little di-

"Mrs pierce?".

The small voice of Rachel Berry pulls me from my angry thoughts. I look up and see her stood nervously at the doorway, twisting her hands as her eyes dart between me and the girls.

"Hey honey.". I whisper, not wanting to wake Britty or San.

She waves awkwardly and silently walks into the room, stopping at the bottom of the hospital bed.

"I...My Dad's are speaking with Santana's doctor. I wanted to come say hi.". Her wide eyes darted to the bed, then back to mine.

"I..uh, I can see you..they...". She sighs and shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I'll come back at a better time.".

I reach out and pat the vacant chair next to me. "Come sit down honey.".

The poor girl looks petrified for a moment before gulping and stepping back a little.

"No thanks Mrs Pierce. I'm pretty sure Santana would do bad, bad things to me if she found me watching her sleep!.".

I let out a small chuckled.

"I'm awake Berry. Come sit.".

Santana's raspy voice snapped our our heads in her direction.

She was still wrapped tightly in Brittany's arms, her eyes were bloodshot and she looked exhausted.

"Apparently I'm gonna be living with you...so I may as well get used to your creeping now!

She sounded so tired.

I looked between the two girls as Britt slept on.

I knew about their little spats and such.

Santana has always been a little...abrasive around anyone that isn't my daughter.

And knowing what I know now, I believe it was her way of pushing people away.

Of protecting herself from people getting too close.

The only person she ever let in was my beautiful, gentle daughter.

"So, how much do you know?.". Santana's tone is cold as she stares pointedly at Rachel.

"My Dad's...they told me..you...you, uh." .

"Spit it out Berry!.". She was beginning to lose her patience.

I placed a hand onto one of hers to calm her. My heart broke a little when I felt her trembling. "Shh baby girl. Don't be so hard on her.".

Santana looked up at me with watery eyes before closing them tightly.

"I know he hurt you. I know th, that he did horrible things to you.".

Santana's hand turns over and grips mine as Rachel shakily speaks.

"I know you started to hurt yourself, in so many ways.".

The girl who I view as a second daughter begins to sniffle. I tighten my grip on hers and rub my thumb over her knuckles.

"I know you wanted to...to die...and I know I hate him for it!.".

Rachel's voice ends in a fiery growl, and Santana opens her eyes looking to the bottom of her bed at her.

"And I hate me for never seeing it.". Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't hate yourself Berry...nobody saw it. I didn't want them too.".

Oh my. Santana's voice was so weak...and broken.

Rachel shook her head.. "I...I'm just sorry Santana.".

She didn't answer, only closed her eyes again and nodded.

I could see how broken she was.

That bastard had destroyed the beautiful girl in front only me.

He had to pay.

I would make sure of it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Holly pov.**

I had just met with the Berry men and Santana's doctor about her ongoing treatment. It had been agreed she would be released into their care tomorrow after a final health check and she would be scheduled to meet a therapist once a week.

Usually I will hand the case over at this point, but something about Santana and also Quinn, has sparked my passion in counseling.

With a snap decision I put myself forward to help both girls. The Berry's agreed, all I had to do now was get permission from my office. An easy feat since they owe me a helluva lot of favors.

Well Lima, Ohio. It looks like you just got yourself a new therapist!

After several phonecalls I was given permission to take over the girls. But one more problem needed solving.

The Fabray parents.

Neither had been contactable and I was beginning to worry about Quinn's living arrangements.

As I walked out of the hospital the girl in question literally ran into me.

"Hey there sweetness, what's the hurry". I asked, taking hold of her shoulders. A frown crossing my face as I felt her tremble.

Watery hazel eyes looked up pleadingly at me. "You have to get him Miss Holiday. You have to get him for what he did. Stop him from hurting San...please! Please promise me you'll get him!".

Tears poured from her reddening eyes as she begged me, her hands raising and locking around my wrists.

"I'm gonna do everything possible to protect you both honey.".

My words must have triggered something as Quinn forcefully pushed me back with a grunt.

"NO!". Her voice was raw and loud, I was taken aback. "I don't need protecting. San needs protecting! Look after her, protect HER!".

I stepped towards her but she backed up again.

She was so angry.

Scared.

Defensive.

Upset.

Traumatised.

And my heart ached for her.

"Quinn, you were both hurt. You both need help. Let m-"

"You don't...you don't fucking get it!". She paused for a moment, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "San...she..she protected me. She didn't know he'd already...but, she stopped me sleeping over, she saved me from it happening more than it already had...I...I didn't save her. I was too, too scared!". The poor girls voice was becoming more broken as she continued.

This time when I stepped up to her, she didn't move.

"It's ok honey. It's not your fault, you were scared and hurt. When people are hurt like that they try to pretend it didn't happen. It's not your fault...you're helping Santana right now, and you will do through this whole process ok?". I kept my voice low as my eyes burrowed into hers, ignoring the looks from people as they walked by.

"Let me protect you both, it's my turn now. Please.".

Her eyes closed for a moment and she nodded. I took another step towards her, she opened her eyes. "I'm s, sorry...I'm...I'm, so, sorry". She choked out, and within an instant, she flew into my arms and broke down.

My heart ached for Quinn.

The misplaced guilt she felt.

The trauma she had suffered.

The journey she had ahead of her.

I will do everything within my power to guide both girls through this and build them up into strong, confident young women.

"Shhhh sweet girl. You have nothing to be sorry for.".

XXxxXX

**Santana pov .**

_I was in my room._

_It was dark out._

_Something had woken me._

_A presence._

_The hairs on the back of my neck tingled as I felt a breath hit them._

_I shut my eyes tightly and pleaded for this to be a nightmare._

_But I knew it wasn't._

_I could smell the whisky and cigars on his breath._

_I knew Mami had passed out drunk already, even before it was time for me to go to bed._

_I felt his hand gather my hair and pull it back, revealing my neck._

_He licked from my shoulder up to my ear._

_I let out a whimper._

_Bad move._

_A high pitched ringing sounded in my ear as a burning sensation spread over my face._

_He'd hit me. _

_He would hit me if I fought._

_If I cried._

_If I closed my eyes._

_I stiffened as he crawled on top of me. _

_But I kept my eyes open._

_He hadn't turned the lights on this time. _

_I was grateful for that._

_I painted my room black in the summer._

_I painted it black for this exact reason._

_No light from the street or the moon would reflect off the matt black._

_It wouldn't illuminate his face._

_His eyes._

_I felt his hardness against my centre and bit back a sob. _

_Roughly he pulled down my shorts._

_I held my breath. _

_Tears pricked behind my eyes, I desperately blinked them away._

_The last time he caught me crying, I ended up in hospital with three fractured ribs._

_He told his doctor friends I had fallen out of a tree._

_I agreed with him._

_A sharp pain shooting through my abdomen snapped me out of my memory._

_His pathetic grunts the echoing through my ears._

_One hand gripped my upper arm._

_The other held my thigh from underneath._

_There would be bruises tomorrow._

_I lost my battle with my tears as a broken sob ripped through my throat._

_He released my arm and slapped me across the face._

_My head snapping to the side._

_My body jerked as he roughly thrusted into me._

_Another sob escaped my throat._

_It was all too much._

My eyes snapped open as a scream ripped from my mouth.

My body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

Rachel's hand was on my shoulder.

Quickly I scooted away and up the bed, raising my knees and cradling them to my chest.

I closed my eyes as I tried to calm my breathing.

But Rachel's stare was burning into my skin.

Opening my eyes I went to snap at her, but she beat me to it.

"So, Mrs Pierce and Brittany had to leave. They're picking up her sister from soccer practice. Brittany didn't want to go, but her mom insisted."

I looked on dumbfounded at Rachel, wondering if she had gone crazy.

"You get out tomorrow...which is good news, unless you're _really _not looking forward to living with us Berry's".

I tilted my head a little as she awkwardly sat on the edge of my bed. I could feel the nerves coming off her in waves.

"We do share a love of music though, and dance...so hopefully, it won't be too bad for you...and, and I'll give you space. I w, won't be 'all up in your grill'...or whatever it is you say".

I actually giggled at her terrible ghetto impression and she visibly relaxed a little as I did.

Then it clicked.

She was distracting me.

She had woken me from my nightmare and the distracted me from it.

My breathing was back to normal.

I wasn't shaking.

Rachel freakin Berry had just helped me.

I watched with new intensity as she stood and gathered her coat.

"I..I've got dance class in half an hour, but I want to come by afterwards...if, if that's ok?".

I nodded dumbly, I don't think I've ever seen her so...small.

As she walked out of the door I called her name.

She stopped and turned to me expectantly.

"Th, thanks..for...y'know.".

I internally face palmed at my lameness, but by the look on Berry's face, I did good.

She nodded a few times and smiled brightly.

"Anytime Santana.". She whispered before practically skipping away.

Maybe living with the Berry's wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Heyheyhey! Hope ya liked!**

**Thanks for the reviews guys, I was leaning towards more of a fic about friendship and recovery but I do foresee a relationship in the far, far future. **

**Really glad you're all enjoying, and thanks for reading.**

**Let me know what ya think of this chapter. :)**

**Daisy x**


	14. Chapter 14

**Santana pov.**

Today I get out of hospital. Today I go to my new, temporary home.

Today I move in with the Berry's.

Rachel came by after dance last night. Just as promised.

She brought me magazines and an ipod full of crappy, uplifting Broadway songs

But it's the thought that counts.

Right?

She stayed for an hour before Hiram picked her up. Both he and Leroy have been busy sorting paperwork and therapists out apparently.

He apologized so many times for not being around more.

I don't mind though.

I'm used to being alone.

It turns out that crazy blonde lady with the stripper name is gonna be my therapist.

Joy.

Also I have to give a statement on Wednesday.

To the police.

They need to hear my side of the story so they can arrest my Papi as soon as he steps foot on American soil.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of telling them what I've been through and I'm scared of how influential Papi is.

He's a head trauma surgeon with no previous criminal record.

I've watched enough special victims unit and CSI to know he won't be under custody for long.

Then he'll come for me.

Maybe I should run.

I could get my money stash that was for mine and Britt's making it official weekend away

The money I was gonna surprise her with.

Spoil her with.

Maybe I could just grab it and go.

Never come back.

Disappear.

"Hey.".

I look up to see Quinn stood nervously at the door.

Instantly my body tenses.

"I need to talk to you for a moment...if that's ok?".

She speaks confidently, but as she steps closer I see her eyes are red and her usual rod straight posture is slumped.

"Sure Q...come sit.".

I pat the bed and criss cross my legs so there's room.

Tentatively she makes her way over and gracefully climbs onto the spongey mattress, mirroring my position.

Only Lucy Quinn Fabray could make climbing onto a hospital bed look graceful.

I smirk at the thought.

"What's the sly grin for?".

She tries to joke, but I can hear the tremble in her voice.

"Nothin, just how you can make anything look graceful...it's kinda unfair.".

I see her cheeks redden a little and an actual smile forms on both our lips.

"Well that's because I actually observe proper posture...unlike you!".

Her voice is a little stronger now, her head a little higher.

"Sorry Sergeant!". I mock, saluting her as I do so.

She giggles a little and it feels good to hear.

We haven't spoken like this for so long.

Except for insults and fights we haven't had any contact that wasn't due to Cheer or glee.

I've missed this.

I've missed her.

**Quinn's pov.**

I notice San's eyes darken and I know she's going to a bad place.

For a moment everything seemed ok.

But it was fleeting and here we are again.

In hospital.

Pretending this isn't happening.

"I'm sorry".

I tilt my head to the side as Tana croaks out yet another apology.

"What for S?".

"Everything.". She sighs, her lip quivering. "The constant bitching, the fighting...not being able to protect you from him.".

I see a tear roll down her cheek.

She turns her head to the side and wipes it away discreetly.

Typical Santana.

Always hiding her pain.

"I was a bitch too. I fought with you too. And as for what _he _did...you do not have to apologize...ok?".

She shakes her head and looks back to me.

My heart stops when I see the self doubt and hurt in her eyes.

"I didn't know...He, he...when he first...with me...he said if I was quiet, if I was good...he wouldn't..".

Her face scrunches and she pulls her hands up to hide her tears.

Bile rises in my throat but I force it down.

I know what she was going to say.

I know because I have my own memory of those words being spoken.

"Don't Tana...please, don't hate yourself because of what he did!". I choke back a sob as she shakes her head again.

My body acts on it's own will, and I feel myself surging forward, wrapping her in my arms.

"_He _hurt me Tana not _you..._.you saved me from him though, you stopped it happening.". My voice cracks as I feel her struggle out of my embrace.

"NO Q!". She half cries, half shouts. "I. FAILED! I FAILED YOU!".

Through blurry eyes I saw her raise a clenched fist to her chest and hit herself as she insisted she failed me.

"I should have seen the signs...".

Her eyes lock with mine, a sob instantly tearing out of my throat as I see the pain in them.

How did I never notice!?

"I waited two months...two months of him _fucking _me like the little slut I am, before I stopped you coming over...I, I was stupid...I should have realised that if he was sick enough to rape his own daughter, he wouldn't think twice about someone else's!".

Her harsh words and self deprecating tone smash into me as I try and fail to control my breathing.

"How..how many times?". She questions.

She can't ask me that.

She doesn't need to know.

I know for sure she'll take it all and blame herself.

Hold herself responsible.

I'll lose a little more of my best friend.

I've already lost so much of her.

"I don't know San...I just...I don't know."

I know she can see through my lie.

San has always been able to read me.

"Please Q...how...how many.".

A pain shoots through me at her broken tone.

"It doesn't matter S.". I whisper.

Suddenly I'm aware of how quiet the room is.

"I need to know...I just...please.".

Her voice breaks and my will does with it.

Part of me thinks she just needs to know she isn't alone.

That part of me wins.

"Thirteen...lucky for some...". I whisper.

I can't look at her.

My hands suddenly become interesting and I watch as I nervously play with my fingers.

Deafening silence filling the room.

Only our occasional hiccups and snifles permiating it's suffocating hold over us.

I raise a hand to wipe a fresh tear away and when I lower it I notice a small, tan hand fearfully reach out.

I take it and wrap my other around it.

A whimper sounds from Santana and I break again.

I look up to see her sucking her lips in, eyes full to the brim with fresh tears and empathy written all over her face.

"You...you don't hate me?". She questions, her voice so vulnerable.

"Never San...never.". I croak back. "You...don't hate me?".

She should.

I saw the signs.

I ignored them.

I could have saved her too.

"Never in a million years Lucy Q.". She whisperes back, her voice vibrating with her bodies need to cry.

Another sob rips through my body and I fall awkwardly into her.

I'm so grateful for her.

She should despise me.

Hate me.

Loathe me.

Buthere she is.

Cradling me as I cry into her lap.

Comforting me as I break into a million pieces.

And I know she'll pick them all up and put me back together again.

Just like I will with her.

We both messed up by pushing each other away.

But now were bonded again.

It may be by a horrific event.

But we are bonded non the less.

And I am determined to help her fight through this and come out ten times stronger.

I almost lost my best friend.

I'll be damned if that ever happens again.

Heyyyyyy.

Likey? No likey?

Let me know :)

Big thanks to all my reviewers!

You guys keep me going and I'm really grateful for you input and suggestions.

It means a lot that you actually take the time to read my fic and leave a review afterwards. :)

*curtseys*

Muchos love.

Daisy x


	15. Chapter 15

**Santana pov.**

"Aaaaaaannnnd, _this, _is your room!".

Berry was excited as she opened the door down the hall from her pukey, pink paradise. Along with her two dad's she had given me an in depth tour of my temporary home. But she had insisted she get the pleasure of showing me my room.

To be honest I was expecting pretty much the same.

Garish color.

Broadway posters.

Fuckin gold stars everywhere.

But I was pleasantly surprised.

One wall was painted dark gray and the other three were a deep red. I had a kingsize bed with black sheets and above it was a giant black and white print of Amy Whinehouse belting out her husky voice mid song into a 50's style microphone.

A large window faced the bottom of my bed, overlooking the Berry's giant rear garden.

I noticed an en suite and a medium sized closet with a sliding door next to it.

There was a desk on the wall to the left of the door, on it sat a brand new imac and a group photo of the glee club just after Quinn, Britt and I joined.

I was at a loss for words.

The kindness Berry and her Dad's had shown me already was...it was astounding.

Luckily, the hobbit was happy to fill the silence.

As always.

"So I picked the color scheme and asked my Daddy's to pick up the print. I know you have a passion for the late, great Amy."

She paused for a moment and ran her eyes over my face.

I felt naked beneath her gaze.

She looked at me, not with sympathy, but respect and empathy.

It unnerved me.

"Anyway. Daddy collected some of your clothes and we can maybe go to the mall if you require anything else...or you can go with Brittany or Quinn. If you don't want to be seen with me.".

Her eyes dropped to the floor.

I tried to speak. But I couldn't.

After Quinn left to go home earlier today it had gotten harder for me to form words.

To build sentences.

I wanted to say things.

I wanted to thank The hobbit and her parents.

I wanted to tell her I wasn't ashamed of being seen with her.

But I couldn't even begin to piece two words together.

I hoped she'd understand.

In true Rachel Berry style, she quickly recovered and continued.

"The police took your laptop, and your phone...and some of your used clothes. So my Dad's got you a new iphone and laptop".

She paused and studied me again.

I knew things were going to get worse from here.

In terms of interviews and court proceedings.

People finding out.

Everyone in school knowing what happened.

I can hear the whispers of everyone in Lima now.

'Poor Santana Lopez, no wonder she was such a bitch'

'Santana was so much of a slut, she slept with her Dad'.

'She probably begged him to fuck her'.

'No wonder she's a dyke'.

'She deserved everything she got'.

'She should of died'.

"Hey, hey...Santana, it's ok. It's ok, your safe.".

Berry's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I was backed up against the desk and my cheeks were wet.

I don't know what happened. My eyes frantically scanned the room before they landed on Rachel's in front of me.

Her hands were on my shoulders, her thumbs rubbing softly against my collarbone.

I tried to speak, but again I couldn't find the words.

"You should sit down.".

Her voice was shakey.

I don't think I've ever heard her speak like that.

Gently she took my hand and led me over to my new bed.

"J-just lie down for a moment, I'll get one of my dad's."

when she turned to leave I grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

I don't remember thinking to do it.

My body just reached out on it's own.

"Stay...please.". I craoked. I could feel another onslaught of tears coming and I had spent too many years crying alone.

I needed comfort.

And as bizarre as it was that I was begging Berry to give it to me, I was grateful.

Her eyes softened as I felt my lip quiver and she crawled onto the bed, lying down and pulling me with her.

I curled into myself as she placed one hand on my shoulder.

Right at this moment everything seemed hazy and surreal.

For so long I had tried to ignore what my Papi was doing to me.

For so long I used drink and drugs to wipe away the memories.

For so long I tore everyone around me down because I didn't want them to know.

Even though, at the same time I was desperate for someone to notice.

Now here I am.

In the house of the girl I bullied the most.

Wrapped in my own arms as silent tears roll down my cheeks.

Focussing on the tiny piece of contact her hand is providing.

Trying to ignore the urge to tear off my bandage.

To rip open my stitches.

To find the Berry's liquor cabinet and drink it dry.

To sink all the medication I know is in their bathroom cabinet.

I don't think I'm gonna get through this.

**Quinn's pov.**

I swear I'm in the twilight zone.

Everything is upside down and back to front.

About an hour ago, Miss Holiday showed up.

She showed up at my front door with my older cousin Drew.

What the actual fuck, right!?

Although I've always been close with her, I haven't seen Drew since her parent's funeral.

That was two years ago.

My father was never a fan of hers and made sure I was never able to visit her.

Her eyes were pink and puffy and I instantly knew Miss Holiday had told her my _situation._

I was beyond furious.

Not at Drew...she didn't exactly ask for this, but at Miss Holiday, how many people can she tell without my consent!?

Anyway, that was over an hour ago.

Miss Holiday is gone and I'm calmer now.

A little.

Basically Drew is going to be my legal guardian until my parents return.

Although they have been informed of everything, they have chosen to remain on the campaign trail.

I may even possibly become an adult before they come back.

If they come back.

My father will most definitely be wanting to separate himself from his teenage daughter who was not only once knocked up, but also molested for months by a respected family friend.

Not good for politics.

It makes you proud to be a Fabray.

"Hey, Q bear...where'd you go?".

I blinked my eyes rapidly, our pristine dining room coming back into focus.

Drew was knelt before me, her geek style glasses perched on top of her thick auburn hair and her green eyes searching mine worriedly.

"Sorry Drew...it's been a long day.".

My voice was a little scratchy, I hadn't used it much since I saw Santana this morning.

I wanted to go check on her at the Berry's, but I wasn't sure if she'd want that.

Maybe I would remind her of _him._

Ugh. It's all so fucked.

"Hey. Stay with me cuz...stop drifting. I, I need to ask you some stuff.".

For the first time ever in my life, I saw Drew look small.

She's five years older than me and whenever I've seen her at family gatherings, she's always exhuded confidence.

I always looked up to Drew.

She was smart, charismatic, head cheerleader.

I guess I based myself upon her.

She's as tall as Brittany and just as trim, her skin is pale, but in a beautiful way. Her hair is a cherry blonde and her eyes are green but hold splashes of gray.

I didn't think it were possible for anyone so beautiful to be so meager.

But I guess what happened to Santana and I has the ability to affect anyone.

I look her in the eyes and nod, signalling for her to continue.

Clearing her throat she stands and pulls a dining chair over, sitting so her knees touch mine.

"I know you may not want to talk about what happened...but please know Q, that I'm always here. _Always._"

I nodded at her sincere words and she continued.

"For the next week or so, we need to stay here, in Lima. The police will need to speak to you and you'll need to give a statement.".

I swear my blood turns to ice when I hear this, but I know I have to do it.

I have to tell them what he did to me.

I have to help protect San.

I nod again, keeping my face blank.

"After that we can leave. I'll take you anywhere Q. If you wanna get out of this town, away from these memories. I am willing to take you anywhere. We can enroll you in a different school and I can take time off work until you graduate. The only time we'd have to come back is if this goes to trial, which I highly doubt.".

I actually forgot how amazing Drew is. She was always so supportive of me growing up. I used to wish she were my sister and not Franny.

She's some hot shot DJ based in Boston, but she travels the country and Europe. The last time we spoke, she was spinning at Taylor Swift's birthday party.

I know how much she loves her job. But I don't doubt at all that she agreed to come here in a second when she got the call.

Drew's parents, my Aunt and Uncle, died just over two years ago in a car crash. Us Fabray's are her only family, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one she speaks to.

We email each other a few times a month and chat on Facebook, but these past six months have been hectic for the both of us and we've lost contact.

The idea of escaping Lima and the inevitable whispers and stares, is more appealing than a plate of crispy bacon right now.

But I know I can't leave.

I can't abandon Santana.

We're gonna fight through this together.

"Thanks Drew...but...I, I can't. I have to stay and fight."

Understanding flashes in her eyes and she nods empathetically.

That's when I realise she knows about Santana too.

"Ok Q bear. We stay. And we fight.". She smiles and stands up, holding out her hand, which I take.

"Now how bout some bacon and pancakes?".

A smile spreads across my face and she tugs me towards the kitchen.

Maybe I should apologize to Miss Holiday tomorrow.

**Yo folks. Hope ya liked that chapter. :0**

**Thanks for reading and the reviews! :))**

**Special thanks to lolathe17 and BW for your in depth and frequent reviews. And also the Guest reviewer!**

**As per usual, plllleeeaaassse let me know what ya thought.**

**Thanks again.**

**Daisy x**


	16. Chapter 16

I awoke with a start.

My eyes shot open and my heart pounded in my throat.

Quickly I surveyed the room, fastly remembering I was at the Berry's.

A memory of Rachel lay next to me flashed in my mind and my gut dropped.

Yet again I had let her see what a pathetic mess I have become.

But yet again she had proved herself trustworthy.

It's darker now.

Dusk.

I can hear soft murmurings floating through the slightly open door.

My door.

That's what it is now right?

My door, attached to my room...

Soft golden light filters through the gap of _my _door from the landing.

Footsteps pad softly up the stairs.

Instinctively I close my eyes and curl into myself.

I pretend to be asleep.

The footsteps get closer, they're on the landing now, heading in my direction.

A whimper escapes my throat.

I bury my face into the comforter wrapped around me to mask any more potential sounds.

Though my eyes are closed I can tell the door is open wider, bright light hits my eyelids and causes them to scrunch a little.

I swear my heartbeat is echoing off the walls as I feel a presence at the side of my bed in front of me.

A breath escapes the persons mouth and my father, drunkenly stood in my room flashes before my closed eyes.

"please...no.". I whisper desperately.

I knew he'd find me.

He probably convinced everyone it was a misunderstanding.

This can't be happening again.

I can't go through this again.

I won't survive.

He takes a step closer and I hear him kneel before me.

"I-I, can't...please.".

I feel a hot tear leak out of my eye as I squeeze them shut even tighter.

A hand pushes my wild sleep ridden hair over my shoulder and my body tenses.

I feel my breathing pick up and I pray to whatever gods that exist to just kill me now.

I'm not strong enough for this.

Please just -

"San...are you awake?".

Quinn.

My eyes snap open and lock with worried hazel ones.

"I'm sorry...I-I wanted to see you. Rachel said you were asleep, I thought you were having a bad dream and I know you're not meant to wake people from nightmares or something like that, I think it's bad for you but I don't know why and I-"

"Q...you're rambling". I croak out.

She pulls her shaking hand back from the side of my head where it had lingered and leans back, balancing on the balls of her feet.

"Sorry..I...just sorry".

Her eyes are downcast as I sit upright, the comforter pooling around my waist.

I brush my hands through my hair and rub the haze from my eyes.

"Rachel's Dad's wanted me to wake you, dinner will be ready soon".

She begins to play with her fingers, a nervous habit we both have.

"Are you staying...I mean, eating with us?".

Ugh, my voice is deep and cracked.

I don't know if it's from sleep or tears.

Both have happened a lot recently.

Quinn looks up at me and smiles a little. "Yea...I've already had some bacon, but they insisted.".

I smile back and take a shuddery breath. "When have you _not _already had bacon Q?."

She lets out a small laugh and stands, pushing my shoulder lightly.

"Bitch!".

"Bacon whore".

This time she snorts a little and I cock an eyebrow as I stand also.

"You eat that much bacon Q you're starting to sound like a pig!".

We both laugh this time.

"Rachel did a good job with your room, it's very _you!"_

Her eyes wander over the large space, stopping at the picture off the glee club on my desk.

In the photo I'm stood in between her and Britt, our arms linked and our faces.

She walks over and picks it up, examining the frozen moment more closely.

"Now I look, I can see it". She whispers, gently running her thumb

I step closer to her, my eyes focused on her fingers now ghosting over our two uniform clad bodies.

"I can see how forced your smile is, how forced mine is...how did nobody notice?.".

Shimmering look over to me and I shrug.

"Because we didn't what them to.".

**Drew's pov.**

Quinn went to wake Santana 15 minutes ago.

She was desperate to see her, I think she's worried she's gonna lose her.

I know they have both fought a lot recently, but I also know the bond they share and the love they have for each other.

Best friends always find their way back, no matter the distance or reason for losing touch.

And I know Q has been cut up over her arguments and fights with Santana.

Quinn...why has everything been so hard for her?

When Holly contacted me and told me about Quinn, my little Q bear...the girl I consider more of a sister than a cousin, I instantly answered yes to her request of temporary guardianship.

Judy and Russell are as good as dead to me now. They have always held an air of superiority over me, believing they were better than everyone. Especially 'A silly girl who plays music to drunks'...ugh. Asses!

I shouldn't be surprised that they didn't want to return to Lima, even after they were told of the crimes committed against Quinn.

I shouldn't be surprised, but I'm fucking disgusted.

I want to take her away from here.

From this fucked up life.

I want to be her family, her support and her love.

I want to show her she's more than what she views herself as. But years of Russell degrading her as Judy watched silently has destroyed what little confidence was left in her soul.

Then, what that vile fucker did to her...

Ugh.

I'm gonna make it better though. I'm gonna fix this.

I'm gonna help her.

"Drew?"

Instantly my head snaps up and I stand from the sofa.

Stood before me is Santana.

The last time I saw her she was 14.

She looked confident and strong, hungry and ready to take on the world.

The girl before me is a mere shadow of her.

My eyes unconsciously flicker down to her bandaged wrist and she notices instantly, wrapping it around Quinn's back who is stood next to her looking equally as small.

My feet push me forward and I wrap both girls in a hug.

I feel their foreheads press against my collar bone and their arms wrap around me in unison.

"Hey San. It's good to see you". I whisper as I press a kiss to both their heads.

Even though I haven't seen her for 3 years or so I've still managed to keep in touch, much the same as with Quinn.

Facebook maybe blamed for a lot of problems, but it kept me in the lives of the two girls wrapped in my arms...or so I thought.

"Ladies".

We all pill apart to find Hiram stood at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Dinner is served.". He smiled, before bowing and waving his hand into the kitchen in an exaggerating fashion.

Santana tilts her head to the side a little at observes him, Quinn then takes her hand and pulls her forward.

"you need to eat something S.".

I hear her whisper as Santana reluctantly follows, or gets dragged, is more accurate.

San has never been a good eater and Quinn has always looked out for her in that way...I guess some things will never change.

**Hiram pov.**

I didn't want to disturb the special moment between the three young women that I was witness to, but Leroy is a stickler when it comes to punctuality at the dinner table.

He puts so much work into his meals...he truly is a wonderful husband.

I try and lighten the mood with some amateur dramatics, but I do not think our Santana is a fan.

Our Santana.

Is it wrong to think of her as a part of our family already?

She hasn't even spent a single night here yet...but...I know she could fit in perfectly.I already see how Rachel calms her.

I know it will take her time to trust Leroy and I...us being men and all...but I can see it. I can see her with us.

But who knows what will happen, maybe the state will remove her from us.

Maybe she'll want to file for emancipation.

Everything is uncertain with fostering, it's what makes it so hard.

I am brought out of my thoughts by the house phone ringing.

Quickly I walk over and answer.

"Hello, Berry residence.".

"Mr Berry, hi. It's Holly.".

I frown at her unusual morose tone. "Holly...hello. What can I do for you?"

My heart begins to beat a little faster as she pauses, I do not have a good feeling about this.

"Mr Lopez is in police custody. We need Quinn and Santana to make statements tonight if we are to keep him there.".

All my breath escapes my lungs.

Tonight.

They have to relive the horrors they suffered at the hands of that beast...tonight.

The rest of the call is a blur.

I hang up and walk slowly toward the kitchen.

As I enter I see Leroy and Drew smiling widely as Rachel, Quinn and Santana speak of glee club.

Santana is a little quiet but Quinn keeps nudging her, pushing her.

San just scowls back before adding to the conversation.

Their dynamic is amusing, but I have no time to observe.

I clear my throat and all 5 people around the table look at me.

"Santana, Quinn...I need to speak with you.".

**Hey folks. Bit of a filler, but I needed it to progress the story.**

**Guess reviewer...damn , thank you!**

**Thanks for your reviews and for reading guys.**

**You all ROCK! :)**

**Muchos love!**

**(and as always let me know what ya think or if you have any suggestions)**

**Daisy x**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys. **

**So a million apologies will not make up for how shit I have been. **

**The usual excuses of work and training are not enough for leaving you hanging this long. **

**But it's true that they have gotten in the way. Plus life itself has been kicking my ass pretty badly this past month or so. But I won't bore you with details. **

**Anyways, I hope I still have some readers left. I'll understand if I don't, because I'm a douche! **

**But if there is, then please enjoy and if you're feeling generous, leave a review. Even if it is just to shout at me! Haha.**

**Daisy x**

**Santana's pov.**

I don't know where I am.

I know I'm lost. But I wanted to be lost.

I couldn't be there.

I couldn't sit on that sofa for one more second as Quinn shook in fear next to me.

I couldn't listen to Drew's hushed promises to her.

I couldn't stand the fucking pity in Berry's and her dad's eyes.

So I ran.

I excused myself to the downstairs bathroom and crawled out of the window like the coward I am.

It's been around two hours now. I don't have a plan, I have no money and I'm lost in some fucking field. I've been walking through fields for over an hour now, that's all I'm surrounded by.

This is what I wanted though.

Isolation.

I didn't deserve what the Berry's had offered me.

I did this. I caused this. I deserve to be alone because I'm messed up.

I didn't protect Quinn.

And then I fuck up by failing at killing myself.

Questions get asked and suddenly everyone knows.

Now the police have Papi and they want to talk to me and Q.

I can feel my wrist hurting, throbbing and stinging.

It's screaming for me to open it up.

To finish what I started.

This can all be over.

But then Q would have to carry the burden alone.

I have to help her.

My hand shakes as I push it into the pocket of my skinny jeans. I fumble slightly as I pull out my new phone. A phone I was given by Hiram and Leroy. A phone I don't deserve.

I wait as it takes what feels like an hour to switch on. As soon as it does texts, missed calls and voicemail alerts litter the screen.

I ignore them all and search through the phonebook that Berry has programmed in. Thankful for her freakishly organised ways.

I find who I'm looking for and with my still shaking hand, press call.

**Holly pov **

I almost drop my coffee as my phone vibrates in my pocket, startling me from my daze. I blink the room back into focus to see the Berry family and Drew looking at me hopefully.

Quinn's head is buried in her arms which are wrapped tightly around her knees that are pulled up to her chest.

The poor thing has been breaking apart since Santana ran away.

I was called here almost two hours ago when the Berry's realised she had climbed through the window in the lower bathroom. Everyone is worried for her safety, including me.

Quickly I place my coffee down, this time on a coaster whilst eyeing Hiram. I don't want another ten minute rant about polished 1950's oak again! I then pull my phone from my sweatpants and my eyes widen at the name on the screen.

I hold one finger up so everyone knows to remain silent, and slide my thumb across the screen answering the call.

I can hear erratic breathing down the line and the occasional sniffle, but there's no verbal greeting. "Santana. Thank you...thank you for calling, everyone is worried about you". I speak as softly as my nerves allow.

"I n-need to tell you what my p..p-papi did to me."

My heart feels as though it's being squeezed as she stutters through her sentence. "You can tell me honey, I can come pick you up and you can tell me anything.".

"NO" Quinn's head shoots up as she hears Santana's voice crackle through the phone. Her watery, red eyes lock on mine and I loose myself in the fear and pain of both the young girls I swore to help. "I-I don't want picking up. I don't wanna come back, I just want you to listen."

Her voice is raspy and has a constant quiver. She's been crying and she's trying to remain strong. "Ok sweetness...I'll listen, but can you tell me where you are?". All eyes are on me now as I speak calmly down the line.

"You ask that one more time and I hang up. Ok?".

Her voice is stronger now as I close my eyes and bite my lip. She needs control. She needs what has been repeatedly taken from her over and over again. "Ok honey...I'm sorry. I'll listen.".

"I...I'm sorry for running like that, for leaving Q. I know I'm a ba-bad friend but I'm gonna fix that now.".

I hear her take a shaking breath as I walk to the kitchen to for privacy.

**Quinn pov **

She's ok. She's alive so that means she's ok.

Holly has been jn the kitchen for at least 30 minutes.

Santana is alive and talking to her on the phone.

She's alive.

For the last two hours all I have been able to see in my mind was her pale body the night I found her close to death.

I was worried.

I was worried she had ran so she could hide and achieve what she had started that night.

My arms are cramping from holding my legs so tightly, so I losen my hold and lower them to to the floor.

She's alive.

She's alive.

She's alive.

Constantly this thought runs through my head.

I can feel Drew's eyes burning into the side of my face.

She's worried, not just for me but also for San, and I haven't helped in the slightest.

Blocking her out.

Pushing her away.

Now I'm conscious of my surroundings I can feel how tense she is next to me. That's not like Drew at all.

Drew is relaxed and flowing, her body constantly moving. Even when she is sat stil, her fingers will drum to a tune in her head or her feet will tap to a beat that only she can hear.

But not now.

Not sat on this sofa next to me.

I look to my side and her eyes widen, probably because I haven't looked at her since Santana ran.

I shrugged off all attempts of comfort from her and I pushed her away.

Something I have never done with Drew.

I see wetness gather in the corner of her eyes and my lungs empty of air.

A sob rips through my body and Drew surges forward wrapping me in her arms.

It should be comforting.

It should be calming.

But it's not.

Before I even register what's happening, I've pushed Drew away yet again and I'm stumbling to my feet.

I avert my eyes from Drew's, not wanting to see the hurt in them and stumble backwards a little. Through my peripheral vision I see Rachel and her dad's looking on with concern, their bodies angled slightly forward.

They want to help, but they can't.

No one can.

It hits me then.

I know what San is doing.

She's trying to help.

She's trying to help then she's going to leave.

Leave for good.

I hold my hand out, palm up. As a sign for everyone to stay back then I turn and head into the kitchen.

Holly looks pale. Her eyes are sharp with anger and she's furiously scribbling notes on a pad she had brought with her earlier.

As soon as my foot hits the tiled floor her eyes shoot to mine and soften.

"I..." I clear my throat and try again. "I need to speak to San.".

Holly looks at me with widened eyes and her mouth drops open a little. She shakes her head a little as I step forward. A hot tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

"Please" I whisper. My voice is shaking and I'm barely holding in a sob.

I have to speak to San.

I just have to.

The whole house is silent.

I can hear the clock on the wall ticking as the seconds pass by.

I can hear Hiram whispering to either Leroy or Rachel in a soothing way.

I even hear Santana ask Holly what's going on through the speaker of the phone.

Her voice pulls me into action and I move forward extending my hand and pulling the phone from Holly's loose grip.

Her mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping for air as I quickly step backwards.

I shock myself as my back hits the wall next to the door jam and it takes a few seconds to slow my already fast heart rate .

_"Holly...wh-what's happening? Should I stop...is it not bad enough...I...I need to help"_

My heart breaks all over again, Santana Lopez sounds so small. How has she hidden this for so long?

_"S...it's me..."_

I hear her breath catch and for a moment silence is all I hear on the line.

_"Q..."_

_"Come home San, please" _

My voice breaks at the end of my plea and I have to inhale deeply as I close my eyes to stop a sob escaping my throat.

_"you know, even when I was being a bitch to you, I still loved you...you know that right?"_

Her voice is desperate, it's quiet but loud and rippled with tears. I try to answer but she continues.

_"I always looked out for you Q. You were my best friend." _.

She lets out a dark laugh

_"I tried my best. I tried...then I just got so angry...I hated that I couldn't have you in my life. That Papi had forced me to distance myself from you." _

She takes another shakey breath.

I want to speak.

I want to tell her it's ok. But as I slide down the wall, eyes shut tightly and head pounding with the effort of holding in my cries, I'm paralised into silence.

"_I...I hated that everyone got to have you in their lives and all I got was this view of you from from far away. I became this fucked up bitter bitch, I hated myself and I hated that I couldn't have my best friend in my life anymore. That's why I did it ok? That's why I fought with you so much...because even though you were slapping me or throwing insults my way, at least you were noticing me. At least you were acknowledging I existed. And that became enough Quinn...I...I'm so sorry for those times. I just needed to know my best friend knew I still existed..."_

This time a cry escapes my mouth, instantly my left hand flies up and covers it, trying to stop anymore escaping. After a moment I realise Santana is crying hard down the line. I gather my breath through violent shakes and begin to beg.

_"Oh god...San...please just come home. I-I, I need you...please" _

I hear her cries intensify and my heart feels as though it has been punched.

_"I missed you too...I purposefully did things to annoy you, because I thought that was the only way you'd speak to me...please San. I need my best friend...I know what you're trying to do tonight and I swear if you do it, I will too...I can't go through this alone..." _

I hear her gasp. My own mind reels at my admission, it's not something I have consciously thought about, but right in this moment I realise it is the truth.

_"Q...no...don't say that. Please-" _

I cut off her whispered plea.

_"I swear I will end my fucking life Santana. If you end yours I will end mine."_

**Santana pov.**

My heart jumps to my throat and a wave of nausea washes over me at Quinn's admission.

I'm beginning to feel dizzy.

I know what is causing it.

I've felt this before.

I close my eyes tightly before they snap open and focus on my wrist.

Blood slowly seeps from the torn stitches.

My heart twists and burns as Quinn's words ricochet through my head.

_"please don't say that Q. You're better than this. Better than me...you, you have a chance..." _

My words trail off as my mind begins to fog over.

_"San please...I will do it. I can't do this alone. Without you I won't make it. I know I won't"_

A fresh wave of hot tears roll down my face as her words cut into me. I they to gather my breath but my chest already feels full, my breathing becomes shallow and I begin to panic, she's being serious. Quinn Fabray was never one for idle threats.

But it's too late.

I already tore my stitches when Holly answered...it's too late.

I'm not going to make it and Q is gonna kill herself because I left her alone again. Because I failed her again.

_"Q...I...I already started. I can't stop it...please. Please don't be like me. You're a better person Quinn., you're -"_

She cuts me off mid sentence. Her voice sharp and precise.

_Where are you Santana. Tell me where you are.". _

I try to focus my eyes on my surroundings. I'm in a field next to a fence and a road. There's a building up ahead.

It reminds me of something.

I close my eyes.

Memories flood my mind.

Quinn laughing loudly, holding her stomach as she bends over.

Her breath visible as I look up at her from the ground.

My body cold and palms stinging.

_"I'm near the old ice rink on the edge of town"_

I hear Quinn's voice shout to someone and there's rustling over the line.

_"Stay with me San. Please. Please stay with me, we're on our way S" _

I lean back against the fence as her voice begins to drift in and out.

Slowly my hand holding the phone drops from my ear and into my lap.

I wanted to be lost.

I wanted to disappear.

I wanted it all to stop.

But as I feel the lull of unconsciousness grasp at my body, I realise how wrong I have been.

I can't be so selfish.

I have to do my part.

I'm not alone in this.

I have Quinn.

She should have me.

I can't let Papi win.

But I think he has.

My eyelids are too heavy to open.

My whole body is freezing cold.

My breaths are shallow.

I know it's too late.

I don't know if the phone in my lap is still connected.

But I speak anyway.

My voice sounding weak and distant as I do.

_"I'm sorry..."_

Then darkness takes over.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey folks. **

**Sorry for the lack of update on Saturday, I had a really bad few days and my head has only just stopped spinning! **

**Uhm, I just wanna point out that this is not a romance fic.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews, they really do mean the world to me, the fact you read this does too. **

**Anyway, I hope you likey.**

**Muchos love! **

**Daisy x**

**Rachel pov **

It's amazing how we see others.

How we perceive them.

Not because of who they are, but because of what they show us.

How they treat us.

Act around us.

I saw Santana and Quinn as unstoppable forces.

Both talented, beautiful and confident young women.

How did I come to that conclusion?

Their talent speaks for itself.

Quinn's beautiful soft and harmonic tones, coupled with her natural ability to maneuver her body in dance.

Santana's smokey, powerful voice coupled also with an amazing dancing ability and a presence on stage that demands your attention.

Their beauty...something that no one would ever deny. Both girls are stunning and flawless in their own ways.

Now it gets harder.

Confidence.

Confidence is something that I believed they both had in abundance.

I envied their how at ease they seemed within their own skin, how they looked upon everyone, even each other, as if they were below them.

But that isn't how it was at all...Santana was falling apart.

She was drinking, taking drugs, self harming and who knows what else. She was crumbling on the inside. But her mask of indifference hid that fact. We all bought the bitch act, we all played up to her game...we never looked deeper than the oh so fragile surface.

I do not think I will ever forgive myself that mistake.

My eyes have been trained on Quinn this entire ride, her face is stoic, her body still.

But little things give away her tension.

Her fear.

Her eyes. They are distant, as if living in another moment.

Her hands. They are clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white as she repeatedly tightens her grip and then loosens it.

Her jaw. It's pulsing, like a heartbeat. I know she is clenching and unclenching her teeth.

It makes me wonder.

What if I had looked a little longer at them both.

Instead of dismissing them as bitches and bullys.

Would I have noticed.

Could I have stopped this.

I close my eyes as they begin to burn with tears that wish to fall.

I won't cry though.

I don't deserve to cry.

If I cry, Daddy will undoubtedly hug me, comfort me.

As one of those people that missed so much due to judging people in the wrong light, I do not deserve comfort.

Especially if Santana doesn't make it.

We're speeding to her now, Holly called an ambulance and made her way to the hospital as there wasn't enough room in the car.

I hope Santana is ok...I don't think anyone will be if she isn't.

**Quinn pov **

She gave up.

Just like that.

She walked...ran away from everything and just gave up.

But then she stood up and spoke out.

I got a few glimpses of Holly's scribblings.

I wish I could un-see them.

San may have ran but she didn't want to let me fight this battle alone.

She fought through her fear and spilled her broken heart out...

Over the phone.

With no one to hold her, or comfort her.

She sat alone in a field reliving the most haunting and traumatising moments of her life.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that fact.

But I settle for anger.

Anger at _him. _

I will make sure he pays for this.

For hurting me.

Hurting San.

For hurting Britt, the Pierce's, Drew, the Berry's and everyone that will soon find out.

For driving my friend...my best friend to the point of suicide.

Twice.

We're almost there, almost at the old ice rink. I can see blue flashing lights ahead. Someone must have called an ambulance.

My heartrate picks up and I am starting to feel faint.

What if we we're all too late.

What if she's...

My stomach churns as the car we're travelling in pulls to a stop.

I clamber over Berry and as soon as my feet touch the asphalt my knees buckle and bile rises in my throat.

It burns and stings and it splashes onto the road.

I heave and cough, wretching into the evening air.

Somebody gathers my hair and begins rubbing circles on my back.

My eyes water as I cough out more rancid and pungent fluid.

I try to crawl away from whoever is comforting me.

"Hey, hey. It's ok Quinn, just relax."

It's Drew.

I don't have the heart to move away from her again.

Instantly, I simultaneously turn and stand.

Her arms wrap around me tightly as hot, fat tears begin to pour down my face.

For a moment I feel safe.

Then I hear the emt.

I pull back from Drew's embrace to see San being pushed into the back of the ambulance.

"Female, Santana Lopez. 110 lbs approx. 17 years old. Injury to ulnar artery. Low bp, faint and unsteady pulse. We need at least four units of blood. Eta 14 minutes. "

**Drew pov. **

I froze as Quinn stepped out of my arms. Her eyes were trained on something behind me.

Then I heard the wheels of a guerny scraping across the road and an emt rapidly speaking into his radio.

It all happened so fast.

I turned to see Santana disappear into the back of the ambulance.

An oxygen mask on her face and an iv feeding something into her body.

Her wrist was wrapped in a pressure bandage and the second emt was holding her whole arm up in the air.

Then it happened.

A flash of blonde to my left.

Quinn ran towards the scene unfolding in front of us.

Leroy must have anticipated this though.

Within seconds he had restrained my cousin.

Quinn was kicking and screaming Santana's name as Leroy held her fiercely from being, his strong arms delicately but securely wrapped around her waist.

The first emt said something to Hiram who nodded before walking back over to me and the car. Rachel was still inside.

I could hear her muffled cries.

Hiram placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. But I kept my eyes locked on Quinn.

Her arms were reaching for the now departing ambulance and my heart shattered as she lost her fight, sagging limply in Leroy's arms as it's she lights faded into the distance.

"They're taking her to Lima general. We should leave." Soothed Hiram as he realeased my shoulder from his grasp.

I nodded dumbly and made my way over to Quinn.

She was sobbing and coughing, unintelligible words erupting from her raw and broken body. I managed to catch some.

'she can't'

'I love her'

'please God'

'I need'

It was fair to say she was terrified of losing her best friend.

So was I.

Santana looked pale, even from a distance.

Leroy slowly released Quinn and I scooped her up into my arms, carrying her bridal style back to the waiting car.

Hiram helped me into the back as Quinn cuddled into me more, her short breaths becoming smoother with the occasional hiccup, her eyes become heavy.

I pulled her further into me and placed a kiss into her blonde hair as I felt her body relax as sleep took her over, faintly aware of car doors shutting and an engine starting.

A sniffle to my left alerted me to Rachel, I looked over to see her mascara had ran and her nose was pink.

Slowly I unwrapped my left arm from around Quinn, Rachel instantly crashed into my side and began to cry a little harder

I squeezed her tightly as I could as tears caused my vision to blur.

Only hours ago, I was optimistic that we would all get through this.

But not anymore.

I wasn't even sure if Santana would make it to the hospital alive.

If she didn't Quinn would break even more...and I don't know if I could fix her.

For the first time since my parents died, I prayed

Please God, let us all get through this alive.


End file.
